he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
