I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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