Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
