just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
