Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My breasts were aching with rage.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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