And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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