the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
