I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
