just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
