i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
