trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
