u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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