I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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