I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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