shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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