We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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