So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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