I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
