eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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