i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
