Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
