There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
