All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
