I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
