I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
