Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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