Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
