she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
