I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Less talking, more tequila
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
