and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
