She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
