OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
