my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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