i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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