I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
