Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
