i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just pee around me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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