I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize