Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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