Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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