Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
love makes seman taste better
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
God, I missed his penis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
