have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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