she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
