I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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