Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
