She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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