Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
