im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
