ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
