haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
