I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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