it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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