I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
