I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
