with your own penis?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
