I didn't shave. On purpose
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize