Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i came on her dog
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
