So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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