y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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