I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
