Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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