too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
