Pants 0. Shit 1.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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