i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize