Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This girl is more easily done than said...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize