i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
